Sex has been a real torment in the history of humanity. Initially associated with the idea of prohibition, sin, and punishment, it was considered a mystery human beings could not get to know, since with such knowledge they would be likened to god. Thus, knowing the truth about the pleasure it can propitiate would be freedom from ignorance, as a whole, which was prohibited.
It is not important to know the true origin of the meaning of sin as it relates to sexual practice’s transgressions. The truth is that humanity remains a slave to ignorance in regards to this prohibition, cultivating it and cultivating all kinds of punishment against those who infringe it.
For a good while now, pregnancy can no longer be used as an excuse, since science has thoroughly solved the problem, and all that is needed is long term educational guidance regarding it, which is easily approachable and resolved by any minimally informed government.
Regarding the advantages and disadvantages of sexual practice at this or that age, or in this or that context, it is the role of parents and educators to define the convenient rules, according to their standards of living, appropriately founded in the acquisitions of biological, psychological, social and economic sciences, having in sight principles of personal and social responsibility.
In any event, everyone must me informed, according to their maturity, about the anatomy and physiology of the male and female human being, as well as about the dynamics to achieve sexual pleasure, orgasm, and about procreation. Such knowledge is imperative, independently of the rules that must be imposed upon them.
The right to sexual practice should be a matter of free will for every individual that has been informed about the subject, as long as the person assumes total responsibility for the consequences of one’s actions towards oneself and towards one’s eventual partners, something which demands maturity, forecast to occur minimally around the age of 18, according to data from science and civilization.
Sexual pleasure, orgasm, which can be achieve individually or in a partnership, is not recommended once there is a third party involved, since it goes against the principles of respect to oneself and to one’s partner, which are basic for a practice of such nature to have its characteristic of humanity is intrinsic to us. For the same reason it is unacceptable the participation of objects and animals in sexual intercourse, which would be thereby infantilized, losing its characteristic of fulfillment at the three levels: physical, psychic, and spiritual.
It is true that not all individuals are able to achieve intercourse at the three levels, given their limitations. Whatever level is possible to each individual, one must be guided not to harm one’s dignity nor that of one’s partner. Therefore, strict rules of hygiene and respect must be taught to all individuals.
The presence of a partner of the opposite sex or of the same sex is of lesser importance, since orgasm can be achieved either way. The inability to procreate, in the case of same sex partners, can be largely overcome by science. On the other hand, the practice of anal relations, symptomatic of immaturity, can be resolved in regards to hygiene, with the assistance of a proctologist.
As long as humanity considers sexual pleasure a sin, it will continue to suffer due to ignorance, since only truth can free us, and sex is a natural source of neurological health, without the side effects of medications now in fashion or of the use of electrical procedures, and it fosters the balance of the organism as a whole. It is therefore necessary a true review of the philosophical and religious concepts of societies about the subject.
A big step in demystifying the subject starts with the language used by people in general, since the sexual attraction one individual feels towards the other cannot be explained in terms of attraction towards the same or towards the opposite sex. In the limiting sense of choosing a partner, any individual can be attracted to a man or to a woman, and the concept of particularity is a sign of ignorance.
Language errors have created serious embarrassments in the understanding of sexuality and need to be corrected. A common error is to consider an individual either homo or heterosexual. In fact an individual is either male or female; there are rare instances of anomaly in the genitalia, or even more rare cases of its absence. It is thus inappropriate to say that an individual is either homo or heterosexual; it is one’s relationship with an individual of the same or of the opposite sex that should be labeled, and this relationship can be changed at any time.
Human suffering in face of the subject of sex would be comic, if it hadn’t become so dramatic. There is no sexual pathology in terms of choosing a partner of the same or of the opposite sex. Sexual attraction towards one individual, instead of towards another, has not yet been explained by science. In view of the situation science finds itself, the origins of such attraction are unknown.
Since the goal of human beings is happiness, it must be also taken into account that in view of the attraction that is felt towards someone, it is up and exclusively to the person, the decision if one will disclose one’s interests towards the other individual, and in what terms one will do so, weighing the advantages and disadvantages of one’s decision in one’s life plans. One may also live intercourse simply at the physical level, or also in the psychic and affective levels, or even more, also in the spiritual, mystical level.
The physical level of sexuality consists only of the pleasure of the body, a simple orgasm, which can be reached by any individual, and can be lived in a healthy way if there is consent from both parties. The psychic, affective, level of sexuality consists of greater emotional involvement, with its inherent responsibility. The spiritual, mystical, level of sexuality encompasses communion with the mystery of the world, which leads to ecstasy.
Sexual life has often been misinterpreted and confused by the delusions of temperament and character. Sexual practice, at all its levels, is absolutely simple and healthy. Any complicating factor should have its origins researched in the sphere of psychiatry, which explains temperament, and in the sphere of psychology, which explains character, that is, in the sphere of the organism and of education, respectively.
The Psychiatry Bulletin of the year 1986 reported statistical data from the World Health Organization – WHO – which announced that 86% of individuals have some type and degree of psychosis, which results from deficiencies in the organic substratum of the brain. Adding to this information the fact that the majority of individuals do not have the opportunity to build their character, due to lack of proper upbringing and/or schooling, it is in these factors that we must search for reasons for the conflicts individuals have with their sexual partners, and not in sex itself.
Therefore, it can be stated that sexual practice is something good, as long as it is based in knowledge of its anatomy and physiology, which will guarantee responsibility over all its consequences. Sex thus lived, purged of all kinds of ignorance, which foster prejudice, is a divine gift, a door to happiness.
All problems brought unexpectedly upon humanity, whether originating in the temperament or in the character of individuals, or in both, can be controlled through medical treatment and education. What is needed is coordinated action between families and schools in order to solve the problems of neurosis and psychosis, which use sexuality and hold it responsible for their madness.
A man and a woman, healthily assisted in their temperament and in their character, will never cause harm to themselves or to their sexual partners, whether of the same sex, or of the opposite sex, and at whatever level they live their sexuality. The social problems caused by partnerships of the same sex must be extensively considered and brought to a successful conclusion, respecting all individuals and without harming the interests of society.
When sex is fully lived, at the psychic and spiritual level, it is associated to sensual love, Eros, to friendly love, Philia, and to mystical love, Agape. This fullness is a result of an individual’s maturing, who became a person as a result of the emergence of consciousness, passing through youth and adulthood. The development of the individual is dependent upon the actions of one’s family and the educational system one is offered.
We must also consider the unfortunate instances of mental illnesses, which offer a distorted picture, with sex being used for its manifestations. They must be understood in their essence, and not as sexual problems, since there are no sexual problems per se, from a psychological point of view. All sexual manifestations of mentally ill individuals are linked to lack of character, and due to deficiencies in the organic substratum of the brain, and to perturbations of temperament, due to the same reason.
In case of pedophilia, what happens is a delay in emotional development, which causes an adult individual to seek partners at one’s infantile emotional level. There is no cure for it since the individual is not able to understand one’s inadequacy. It is also possible that, adults in all aspects, have not built their character, and it is therefore indifferent to them the objects they use for their sexual pleasure, thus also seeking children in their indiscrimination.
There is the special instance of the individual called “faggot”. This is an individual who has extremely low self-esteem (schizophrenia), and decides to make oneself female in order to live one’s identification with the maternal figure, and thus avoid the social responsibilities attributed to males. However, not all “faggots” have extremely low self-esteem, and not all individuals with extremely low self-esteem are “faggots.” What characterizes those individuals is the need to make themselves female in order to avoid the responsibilities attributed to males by society.
There is also the special instance of the woman called “dike”. Contrary to the “faggot”, she presents extremely high self-esteem (paranoia), and decides to flee the condition of being female, which she sees as derogatory, in order to live one’s identification with the paternal figure, and thus, avoid the social responsibilities attributed to females. However, not all “dikes” have extremely high self-esteem, and not all individuals with extremely high self-esteem are “dikes”. What characterizes those individuals is the need to make themselves male in order to avoid the responsibilities attributed to females by society
It is thus necessary to consider the important distinction between two men who have sex in a healthy way, and two men who have sex because one has extremely low self-esteem and the other has extremely high self-esteem. It is also necessary to consider the important distinction between two women who have sex in a healthy way, and two women who have sex because one has extremely low self-esteem and the other has extremely high self-esteem. In case of couples thus formed, it is possible to find all conflicts predicted in psychiatry, whether they are individuals of the same sex or of opposite sex.
The propriety of language is an important factor in understanding the types of individuals, in regards to sexual behavior. The expressions “faggot” and “dike” are disrespectful towards individuals who, not having, very likely, sexual problems, are victims of mental disturbances, and thus deserve respect and appropriate psychiatric and psychological assistance.
Equally unfortunate is the use of the denominations “gay” and “lesbian”. “Gay” is a happy individual, irresponsible, a denomination that is not appropriate to all who have a sexual partnership with individuals of the same sex. “Lesbian” is, in the sexual pathology of neurological basis, the woman who is addicted to masturbation, an expression that is not in line with all women who have a partnership with other women. Etymologically, lesbian is a woman who was born in Lesbos, a Greek island, to where the Spartan women abandoned by their warrior husbands who were at war were deported, and where they started to live sexually amongst themselves.
The truth about sex must be revealed without fear. Ignorance towards sex is a weed that is disturbing sexual pleasure of uninformed individuals. To associate sex to sin is disrespectful to the functions of our bodies that can lead us to unspeakable pleasures. In fact, to believe in sin is the greatest blasphemy one can commit against the existence of a possible Creator, since every human being acts as well as one possibly can, seeking to reach one’s goal, happiness.
Maria Auxiliadora de Souza Brasil
(Psychotherapist and Sexual Counselor)
Belo Horizonte: Rua Fernandes Tourinho 470 - 9º andar | Salas 1001/1002. Funcionários - Belo Horizonte / MG - Ver mapa - Tel: (31) 3227 0030 | (31) 3225 7181